11/28/20

By Julie Swift with Maryellen Dunn

Day 4 of 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Against Women

#16days #orangetheworld #generationequality #ratifyILO190

Longtime witness, Maryellen Dunn, reminds us that "We Are All Interconnected" as she relates her experiences along the Texas-Mexico border with asylum seeking women forced to await their "day in court" in very dangerous border cities and a woman who has dedicated her time and talents to providing shelter and compassion. She recalls the woman that implored, "Please don't forget us."

“We are all interconnected. As women, our experiences are very similar.”

Stated by a dedicated activist working along the Mexico/US border

Being a girl or a woman in the world can be difficult. It has been this way forever.

There is a worldwide effort this month to highlight the need to end gender violence. The high incidence of femicides around the world, including throughout border communities, reminds us

that not only can it be difficult to be a girl or woman, but it can be and is also dangerous. Violence against women is a worldwide plague that affects millions. It affects our mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and all those who love them. It especially affects the thousands of women and girls fleeing violence who then travel many miles through unsafe territory seeking safety. You’d be hard pressed to find a woman who has made this journey and not experienced some form of violence either at home or in her travels to the US. It must be noted that gender violence also affects those who identify as LGTBQIA, and for this reason organizations devoted to protecting them from gender violence and discrimination are extremely important. “We are all interconnected.”

For a bit over a year, I have been helping several women who provide aid to those seeking asylum into our country. As we know, the majority of those seeking asylum are from Central America and are fleeing horrific violence, intense poverty, and/or devastating effects from climate change. While all of the stories shared are heart wrenching and important for us to hear, in honor of this month’s activism, it is the stories of the women and girls that guide this writing. “We are all interconnected.”

During this time, I met the dedicated activist who quoted the above statement. Her name cannot be shared due to safety reasons. After working with the Witness program in Homestead, I learned about her and the work she does. Through a strict screening process I was able to speak with her over the phone and then meet her in person. We walked across the border together to help in shelters in a Mexican border town. The families we met were temporarily living in a variety of shelters because they couldn’t wait in the United States for their asylum cases to be heard. This was back in the days of Metering. The stories that these women, living in the shelters, told us are what motivates my support for her and her work. Whether it was their stories of why they fled or stories of the abuse they suffered at the hands of CBP once they got to “safety” here in the US, they stay with me and I’m sure with all of us who hear them. They affect us. They cause us to reflect on their lives even as we ourselves may live free from the violence they have experienced. “We are all interconnected.”

After visiting several shelters, we stopped at a Roman Catholic church. We spent quite a bit of time in this church. The quiet and peace were comforting and much needed. Our wise guide obviously knew that. My mind wondered as I tried to absorb what I had just seen and heard. But I quickly realized that my witnessing of trauma was not over for the day. I watched in utmost respect and with incredible sadness as this brave and strong young woman sat at the altar and sobbed. I recognized it for what it was. A release. A release of all the pain she carries and holds. All the pain she had seen that day and everyday she does her work. This is her life. Helping women who have been so severely damaged trying to find safety for themselves and their families. We often forget the effects witnessing violence can have on our souls. “We are all interconnected.”

Yet, what stands out, even to this day, one year later, is the evidence of resilience that these women show. All the women. Those fleeing violence and those providing aid to those who seek protection. These women remained determined. Whether it was to get their children to safety or to provide basic care for those seeking this safety. Even if it meant another stay in a freezing cold Border Patrol cell or providing care and compassion upon their return. Even if it meant sharing their story to another stranger... yet again. “We are all interconnected.”

In a border town there is a new shelter for soon to be moms and their babies. It is in need of so much. It is this shelter that I support by knitting and selling simple, basic hats. Proceeds from Hats for Asylum go to this shelter. The women and girls who are in this shelter are pregnant due to being raped while fleeing their already violent lives. How do we tease out their pain from their hopes and dreams for a better life for them and their new babies? I’m not sure we can. Yet, the more I learn about them and their situations, the more clearly it becomes that access to women’s basic care is not seen as important by society. While this is obvious throughout the world, it is clearly obvious in the cities and towns scattered along the border as well as the large encampment in Matamoros. This is a universal condition that this 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence effort is addressing. Again we are reminded that, “We are all interconnected.”

This interconnection guides us all to work as hard as we can for those seeking our country’s help. In the absence of government care there are many throughout the country who have stepped in to provide the desperately needed support to these women who suffer so much. To all of you, I thank you. Especially, I thank all the strong women working along the border who provide dignity and respite to all those who arrive asking for help. But especially for those providing the special and specific needs to the girls and women. As I write this, I am reminded of a conversation I had with a kind and gentle woman from the highlands of Guatemala. She said something that has stayed with me, “Please don’t forget us.” As each day passes it becomes more and more clear that it is the relentless efforts of the remarkable people helping those in such need who are responsible for what we as a society see. These dedicated helpers are who demand we don’t look away. They are who demand we remember those who are living in dire need and danger while seeking a safer life. May we all vow to work for the protection and safety of all our sisters asking for our country’s kindness. “We are all interconnected.”

Maryellen